Sunday, October 15, 2006

A new beginning from this blog

To have my own blog is a big step for me, because of the fact that I don't like to let others know my true feelings and also don't like to show my weak side in front of people.
Or to say in a more precise way, I'm just afraid to let people know how I really feel.
I always tend to protect myself too well and care about how others think about me too much.
I don't know why, maybe because of my culture, or my parents' high expectations towards me, or just due to my own perfectionism occasionally.
Even though most of the people think I'm quite ok and I also try to pretend that I'm fine and satisfied with myself, deep in my heart I know I just couldn't really like myself and therefore most of the time feel so insecure.
It was also one of the important reasons why I insisted to take a traineeship to be away from the original environment for a while.
And now I start to have my own blog partly because of the current position in the trainee council.But most importantly I think I'm somehow gradually able to like myself a bit more and accept my imperfection during this traineeship thanks to all the people around me.
Anyway it's just a beginning, and I believe I'll be able to open my heart and go back home with a reborn myself.
Let's wait and see.

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